Have you ever been dumped because the person you were trying to do so much for and be nice to all the time, thought of you to be boring? It must have hurt and ached to have been quit on by the one you loved, all because you were trying your very best to be the nicest thing since sliced bread. Well guess what, being ‘nice’ all the time is overrated and makes you a boring person.
Being ‘nice’ doesn’t mean going with the flow all the time!
What is it about you that others find attractive? And here, by attractive we do not mean only romantically – there have to be some engaging qualities in you that make people want to be your friend, to hire you, to be like you and of course, to like and love you. These qualities are what make you unique and interesting. People might like you for your conversation skills, shared interests and hobbies, and because you are all heart. However, being a caring person has got nothing to do with not having a voice of your own. If you are the kind of person who thinks that a relationship only works when you go with the flow, and you ignore you rown thoughts and likes to do so – then you are heading down the road to bitter breakup and will be a labeled a boring person. [1]
An ‘I don’t mind’ attitude tells the other person that you have no mind.
Imagine someone asking you, what’s the best option for dinner? You shrug and indicate that the other person can go ahead and choose; you are all right with anything. As a onetime scenario this is fine, but if this is an oft repeated scene in the drama that is your life – then your ‘I don’t mind” attitude is making you one boring person. [2] In a relationship, it’s good to disagree every now and then. It’s even okay to have a few fights and then agree to disagree. Nodding your head to everything, being a yes man or woman and portraying yourself as someone who is okay with just anything and everything the other party wants is just dull. Being nice all the time takes the fun out of any relationship – be it as friends or romantically. And it makes you a boring person.
Being a yes person makes for unhealthy relationships.
How can one be okay with everything? The answer is, no one can. However, in a bid to be nice or rather to be thought of as nice, you may be stifling your wishes and dreams and going with the flow. It may be to keep your significant other happy, or trying to be just another cog in a well-oiled machine at your workplace. Whatever be the reasons or the situation, the ‘I’m okay with anything’ attitude of yours will not get you far. Firstly, the person or parties that you are doing this for, may start resenting you for not having the courage or conviction to make your own decisions. You will be perceived as a pushover and this projected niceness of yours will not earn you any brownie points. Secondly, if you are deliberately being fine with anything and everything, after a while this act of yours may start to wear you down and the very relationship that you are trying to strengthen with this niceness, will sour even for you! [3]
Take charge every once in a while.
The solution to this is to get up and take charge. The next time anyone asks for your opinion, politely give it. The next time you have the urge to say no, say it. The next time you feel like standing out like a sore thumb, do it! Be a nice person, but also be your own person. Featured photo credit: Mihai Surdu via unsplash.com
